LoZ: Nintendo's best deal in heroic games (AKA Link Part Deux)

I have already written about the one series Nintendo has carved to perfection (But still has a few rough edges). However, we have a discontinued post in here that I have decided to rewrite.

The Legend of Zelda nowadays has become quite the thing amongst gamers both Nintendo and non-Nintendo, which seems simple to understand considering that the existence of such a game grants us the ability to dress up like an elf that doesn't vaguely look gay. Seriously, you can't debate it.

Never mind his double arrow, he doesn't save princesses for a living.

This is the second reason I personally think the games should be called The Legend of Link (the first being the fact that the initials would be more catchy: LoL) You know, because in none of those intro sequences do you get "wise princess of an olden kingdom". You get instead this:

Not this:

This:

Not this:

Yep, there's no respect for wisdom when you're kicking the most wretched pig asses this side of Hyrule. Seriously, all Zelda does in the early games is the faithful princess role in every other gallant warrior storyline: wait for the handsome knight to rescue you, usually right before or right after the greatest battle of the story itself.

Of course, in later games she gives you the silver bullet for the last battle, appropriately named the Silver Arrow because of the time period (which is still in debate for each game in the franchise) but let's not forget what desperate people are capable to do in desperate times: when the King of Evil unavoidably conquers the world, the wise princess of Hyrule escapes detection by becoming a transvestite ninja.

No sh**!!

She is supposedly instructed to do so by her nursemaid (who also happens to be a ninja) to avoid being Ganon's target (remember, she holds 1/3 of the power needed to rule the universe) The bisexual ninja, working under the codename "Sheik", teaches Link the basics of teleportation through song, which became a trend in future Zelda games. This alter ego is even present in the Smash Bros series, turning Zelda into the first Smash Bros character with more than one array of attacks (Sheik's moves were ripped off from Castlevania, but whatever)

However, Her Highness's slightly badass stunt still doesn't cover up the fact that, while Link's "Dark Link" is a separate entity, Zelda's "Dark Zelda" is actually herself, possessed by a power-hungry desert warrior who also excels as a puppeteer. In layman's terms:

BADASS

NOT BADASS

Hell, even Smash Bros Brawl laid aside Zelda's "Dark Side" and instead opted for something that makes her look more like Your Majesty Queen Zelda.

Let me state the obvious here by mentioning the fact that color customizing Zelda applies to Sheik as well. In this case he/she looks more like a ninja than he/she usually is.

TOTALLY BADASS

Continuing in Part III (for real this time)