Planking and You

It's still a few months, maybe a year or so, before people in my country catch on the now viral art of Planking. Arguably the most pointless idea ever conceived (well, before owling anyway) this "lying-down game" is basically the United States' new way to say "I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN LIE STRAIGHT AND STIFF... KINDA LIKE A:

It has appeared on the news and it's considered to be anything from a fun pastime to ridiculously large Facebook albums. Depending on whether or not you're planking over an officer's patrol car, it's even seen as a shameless act of trolling.

Remember those olden times when hearing the word "Plank" meant the end of your lousy career as a seaman? Today, though not as severe, planking is already a problem with authorities, and not only in public considering 7 doctors and nurses were kicked out of their hospital for "playing on-duty". Apparently these guys don't know that planking, even on safe conditions, is not a good idea when your patients are waiting.

Speaking of safety, the risky act of planking on a 7-floor balcony resulted in the first planking casualty (which the site affectionately calls a "fatality")

It was reported that even after death, the man kept planking...

However, it wasn't long before YouTube came up with the second victim:

With these alarming facts, you might have expected people to have stopped this absurdly contagious activity... right?? Wait, no they're still doing it. All over the friggin world. There are a lot of pointless reasons for a good planking for anyone, including the group planking:

If you're bored waiting at the dentist, try planking over the magazines:

Need to flatten out some asphalt? Might as well flatten out yourself:

Planking on tourist sites today makes holding the Leaning Tower so ten years ago:

When zookeepers worldwide finally realize that cleaning up camel crap isn't exactly fun, they just plank:

Scored a goal? Plank:

Man, you can even have a planking wedding:

And if you get bored of planking, don't worry, your children won't:

See, even animals are aware of this trend:

Planking is simply the worst way to waste your life. I tried it once on the floor and I didn't get any satisfaction from it (on the other hand, I bent my nose 2.46 degrees to the left) It's just not worth a Facebook album.

To sum it up, planking sucks. Don't ever do it. Don't plank on the cupboard. Don't take a picture of you planking on the cupboard. Don't show your friends the picture of you planking on the cupboard. Most of all, don't even think about uploading it to Facebook, showing even more of your friends the picture of you planking on the cupboard.

Seriously, DON'T.

Who am I kidding.... Who listens to a random guy on shorts?

FREAKING NOBODY, that's who.